1. tomoatmeal:

    They built the world’s largest salad. The whole thing was set up in a park about an hour away from our home so my wife Diane convinced me that it might be fun to go see it.

    "Deb and Gary are going this afternoon and so I thought we’d ride over there with them."

    "Will there be any left?"

    "Oh, it’s not to eat," said Diane. "It’s like an art piece. The Guinness World Records people will be there."

    On the way over, I started to talk about a Cobb salad I had at this place near my office that was pretty big.

    "I usually eat only about half of it."

    "Well, I’m sure this one is much bigger than that," said Gary.

    "Jesus Christ, Gary. I wasn’t implying that I thought the Cobb salad I had was bigger than this salad. It’s just that all of this giant salad business has me thinking about large salads I’ve had before. God!"

    "It was a joke," said Gary. "Calm down."

    But I could tell from the muscles in his face that Gary was lying. Deb quickly chimed in with a request to hear about more of the big salads I’d had, but I was over it. The mood had been ruined.

    "Forget it," I said. "Let’s just get this thing over with."

    The salad was huge. According to a series of laminated signs, we learned that all of the produce had come by way of donations from local farmers and then a college in New York had commissioned a handful of artists to construct a gigantic ceramic bowl to put everything in.

    We took pictures and afterwards I bought a t-shirt at the gift shop. It was powder blue with a graphic of the gigantic salad pasted right on the front. On the back was the date and city.

    In the car, Gary said that the salad on my t-shirt just looked like a regular-sized salad.

    "Bullshit," I said. "It’s huge."

    "Well maybe it’s huge because you know that it’s huge," said Diane. "But to someone who doesn’t know what it is, I can see how it looks like a regular salad."

    I looked at it again and realized that they were right. How could I have allowed myself to be seduced by the context of such a limited reality? The only place a gigantic salad can truly exist is sitting there right in front of you! Even photos were a stretch. I stifled my anger and humiliation with short breaths and concentrated on the scenery so as not to rip the t-shirt in half in a blind rage.

    Gary had made me look like a fool twice in a span of mere hours and I desperately needed to restore balance. That night, I sat in my study and replayed the day’s events in my mind. Surely, Gary had to have slipped up somewhere and said or done something dumb.

    "Diane," I said. "Wake up."

    "God, what time is it?"

    "Remember when we first saw the salad? Remember what Gary said?"

    "I don’t know."

    "He said that the salad was so big, that he’d need a pitchfork to eat it! Remember?"

    She thought about it. “I guess. I really don’t remember.”

    "He did say it! Ha! What an idiot!"

    I clapped my hands together.

    "Because, Diane. The ingredients were standard-sized ingredients. It was only the salad itself that was huge."


    "So why the pitchfork?! Does Gary suddenly have a gigantic head with such a gigantic mouth that a regular fork won’t do? God, he’s so stupid! Isn’t he stupid, Diane?"

    "I don’t know what your problem is with Gary."

    "I don’t have a problem with Gary! I just have a problem with an idiot who thinks that large portions automatically correlate with large utensils. I mean, Christ Diane! What an idiot!"

    I could see that my wife wanted me to leave, but I wasn’t done yet.

    "Why, that would be like thinking that…" I paused, a grin plastered to my face, and tried to think of a similar example containing both a large food item and another large utensil. But it wouldn’t come to me.

    "It would be like what?" asked Diane.

    "Nothing! I’ll think of it later."

    In the early hours of the morning, Gary was awakened by an anonymous phone call from the payphone outside of a nearby liquor store.


    "If someone gave you a gigantic sundae, you’d probably try to eat it with a snow shovel!"


    (via foxnewsofficial)


  2. tentaclethearpist:

    its 20 fucking 14 can we stop pretending that online activism and general awareness campaigns “dont do anything” before i got on tumblr i was a racist sexist anti-feminist piece of garbage whos greatest understanding of any social issue was discrimination against white gay men and that trans people were “men trapped in womens bodies”

    obviously something fucking right is going on so why dont you stop being pessimistic little shits.

    (Source: sageruto, via foxnewsofficial)


  3. Anonymous said: What are the signs of emotional abuse?



    Abusive Expectations - Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.

    Aggressing - Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.

    Constant Chaos - Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.

    Rejecting - Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.

    Denying - Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.

    Degrading - Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,

    Emotional Blackmail - Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.

    Terrorizing - Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.

    Invalidation - Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.

    Isolating - Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.

    Corrupting - Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.

    Exploiting - Using a person for advantage or profit.

    Minimizing - A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.

    Unpredictable Responses - Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.

    Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.

    Love, Salem

    This is our most reblogged post! I can’t believe how many notes it has. This is also very important.


  4. litahalford:

    it infuriates me when people tell me “lifes too short to not forgive people!” like NO lifes too short for me to continually allow abusive and manipulative behavior in my life and live in a constant state of anxiety bc I want to be “nice” or whatever

    (via tashabilities)


  5. inanorderlyfashion:




    I love this

    lil fairy queen’s wings got tired so she took the subway

    hope this child knew yall took they pic tho

    hope they parents let it be posted tho

    Fear not blackqueerbravado. The child in this picture is my niece. She knew I was taking her picture and her mother, my sister, let me post it. The person you reblogged it from or the person they reblogged it from removed the caption I originally put on it, which was:

    The Queen as a Fairy Princess, Halloween NYC 2013

    photographed by ©Channon Simmons

    (via cheerssugarplum)


  6. wintergrey:

    James Baldwin on “looting” (via x).

    (via basednkrumah)


  7. sonofbaldwin:




    A police officer in Georgia admits to kicking an African-American woman in the stomach while she was 9 months pregnant. No charges were filed against the officer.

    Raven Dozier was 9 months pregnant when Dekalb County police officer Jared Wheeler kicked her in the stomach with his boots. She was forced to get a c-section. Thankfully, the baby survived. In an “internal investigation” Dekalb County police found that officer Wheeler did nothing wrong and followed police procedure.

    And he’s completely unapologetic about it as well and no justice was served. People need to realize that police brutality is literally a daily reality for black people and that it affects black women as well.

    Because police violence against black women, black queer people, and black disabled people doesn’t get as much press, attention, or community support, I want to remind us of the case of Raven Dozier.

    (via queensheartsnpeacesigns)


  8. dynastylnoire:


    WASHINGTON, DC — Earlier today, the National Bar Association filed a lawsuit against the City of Ferguson, MO and the Ferguson Police Department seeking any and all incident reports, investigative reports, notes and memorandums prepared by Ferguson Police officers, in-dash camera video, photographs, cellphone video and recordings in connection with the shooting death of Michael Brown. 

    The National Bar Association also sent a Preservation of Evidence Notice to both entities requesting that they preserve the police officers’ raw notes of all statements, observations, and data collected from the scene of the incident, specifically including the officer involved and all responding officers, officer detail logs from the crime scene, and video & photographic evidence related to the August 9, 2014, fatal shooting of Michael Brown and subsequent arrests of protestors in the City of Ferguson.

    "There can be no full, fair and accurate accounting in any state or federal criminal or civil action unless any and all footage is carefully preserved," stated Pamela J. Meanes, President of the National Bar Association. "We want to ensure the family of Micheal Brown and the residents of St. Louis understand correct measures are being taken to protect evidence regarding this tragic incident."
    In wake of the recent events taking place in Ferguson and across the country, the National Bar Association has developed a task force that will evaluate complaints of police misconduct and/or police brutality nationwide, an online petition has been created calling for an independent investigation for the death of Micheal Brown Jr. and an open book request has been filed in 25 cities and states for information on police actions.

    The lawsuit comes days after the City of Ferguson Police Department released the name of Darren Wilson, the officer identified of shooting Brown.

    Oh shit



  9. malacostrican:

    A selection of quotes from a friend protesting tonight in Ferguson.

    (via pedazititos)


  10. extendedburning:


    please do not let ferguson die out like everything else big does. do not let this die out. do not let this continue on for three days and then everyone forget about it. do not let this happen.

    queue this post up 3 days from now, a week from now, a month from now, a month from then. make sure even if you forget your blog will remember.

    (Source: angel-scum, via cheerssugarplum)


  11. mohala-sumiko:

    this morning, police raided Greater St. Mark school/church in Ferguson, MO (formerly called St. Sebastian’s Parish).

    community members had been using it as a safe space and staging area. police claim that the church is violating housing codes by sheltering protesters, even though the pastor has said it isn’t true.

    please please please boost this. help these organizers recover the supplies they lost, and share just how fucking far these cops will sink to make the people of Ferguson suffer.

    (via tashabilities)


  12. blvcksnake32 said: I would love for you to squirt on my cock


    i would love for you to not talk to strangers like that



  14. fabulazerstokill:


    From Elon James White Tuesday night.

    This better have hundreds of thousands of notes at the end of the day or else

    (via dynastylnoire)


  15. staff:



    hmmmm yeah, tumblr would celebrate Aviation Day, marking barely over a century of human flight when birds had been flying for millions of years before the Wright brothers. never forget.

    Tumblr hereby recognizes the accomplishments of birds.